


ears ringing, teeth clicking

by virotutis



Series: swimming with the sharks until we drown [2]
Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: M/M, also this is like vaguely dubcon too and its set in my old android shintaro au!, theres only kissing in this but its vaguely nsfw bc theres mentions of an erection lmao!!, this was literally written a year ago so please dont think too badly about the current me...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 11:02:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4098585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virotutis/pseuds/virotutis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good, Haruka thinks, because he probably wouldn't be able to control himself for much longer. Being with Shintaro tests his patience, destroys any sembalance he's ever had of self-control and rips it up and leaves him desperate and hungry, really. It's almost frustrating the effect that Shintaro has on him, driving him crazy with his small, hesitant smiles and how he never, never pushes him away or says no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ears ringing, teeth clicking

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!!!!!!!!! yeah so i was going through old files and found this and i never uploaded it and i was talking about it on twitter and some friends wanted to read it so i uploaded it. this was written like literally a year ago back when i wrote for kagepro so dont get your hopes up for me returning to writing for kp or anything

Shintaro, as expected, cries when Haruka unzips his jacket, tugging it off of him and throwing it off to the side. He's afraid, trembling slightly, and he bites his pretty lips until they're pale, worrying the skin between his teeth, and it's almost enough to get Haruka to stop, stomach churning with guilt for upsetting Shintaro so much.

The keyword, however, is almost, because even if his stomach turns like ocean waves in a storm, even if his insides are burning and there feels like theres bile in his throat, his heart is thumping in his chest like a loud drum, pumping blood faster and faster in his excitement, and his dick is painfully hard, uncomfortably pressing against the denimn of his pants.

He's disgusting scum, he knows- knows this fact extremely well, burnt into his mind after years of repetition, day after day of telling himself that- but he can't seem to really care, not when Shintaro is staring up at him with wide, wide red eyes and flushed, pink cheeks wet with his tears trailing down them, sliding down the curves of his face and falling down into the crook of his neck and dripping down onto his skin.

Haruka's never really been into crying, finding the act rather off-putting. There's too much snot and sobbing, faces contorted and scrunched up and chests heaving, gasping for air. It reminds him too much of waiting in hospital lobbys, fiddling with his thumbs and waiting for his doctor to come out for his weekly required check-up while trying to ignore people crying at their diagnostic, being told they've only got so long to live, or being told that they've acquired an uncurable disease. 

Somehow, though, it's different with Shintaro. His tears are quiet, slipping from the corners of his eyes and dripping down his cheeks, leaving wet trails to his chin, and there's an almost unnoticeable hitch in his throat, a small catch in his breath that makes Haruka take in a deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

He lets out a small comforting shush, squeezing one of Shintaro's shoulders gently before leaning in to press kisses to one of the tears on Shintaro's cheek, smearing the salt on his lips. Shintaro lets out a startled noise at that, jerking slightly in surprise, but he doesn't really say anything, so Haruka thinks that he's probably fine with it, maybe.

Shintaro forces a small, shaky smile, another tear falling from his eyes, and he very slowly releases his lips from between his teeth. Good then, Haruka nods, and he smiles back, Shintaro's calmed down a bit. 

Haruka absentmindedly licks his lips, blinking in slight surprise at the taste of salt on them. It's, not bad, though, he thinks, and he licks them again for good measure, even when Shintaro looks a little embarrassed by it, the tips of his ears turning red.

"D-don't do that, Haruka," he stutters, staring down at Haruka's shoulders and not looking at him in the face. "That's, that's... not..."

"It's not what?" Haruka asks him, smiling gently and laughing at how flustered Shintaro is. It's cute, adorable, the way he fidgets nervously, the way his shoulders tense like he wants to run, cheeks flushing even redder, and Haruka can't hold back the soft laughter that bubbles in his throat. 

"Don't laugh, Haruka!" he squawks indignantly, furrowing his eyebrows and sniffling loudly. "That's, that's not nice! I'll tell Kido on you!" Shintaro's lips are curved into an upset pout, and Haruka just kisses the corners of his lips again soothingly.

"Sorry, sorry," Haruka hums softly, a small hint of laughter still in his voice, and he gives Shintaro a small, lop-sided grin. "I couldn't help it. You were just too cute, Shintaro. It's hard not to smile when you're fidgeting that way."

Shintaro doesn't get it, of course, because he doesn't understand emotions or sexuality, only knows textbook definitions and random trivia for some reason, blinking in confusion and making a questioning noise. "I don't understand," he says, a bit of irritation in his voice. "Why would it make you happy if I'm expressing signs of discomfort? I don't understand..."

Haruka doesn't really understand either, if he's being honest. He's aware that his kinks are fucked up, but he's not sure why he has them. He doesn't really want to look up explanations why either. He feels enough like scum, he doesn't need a long, scientific explanation as to how he's absolute trash.

"It's just cute," he says, shrugging, and before Shintaro can reply, he kisses him, gentle at first, because no matter how many times they've kissed Shintaro always flinches when Haruka comes near his face, and, when Shintaro relaxes, he deepens the kiss slightly, locking their lips together.

He has to take it nice and slow, because even if he wants to slide his tongue into Shintaro's mouth, twisting and coiling them together in a messy clash of pleasure, wants their teeth to cackle together and spit to drip down their chins, Shintaro always needs to be eased into it with soft, gentle kisses, lips pressing together sweetly and chastely, filled with love and affection before he's ready to take it onto the next level.

It doesn't take all that long for Shintaro to give in to him anyway, slowly moving his hands from staying awkwardly at his side in clenched fists to settling nervously onto Haruka's shoulders, squeezing his shoulders once, twice, as a sign that he's ready. 

Good, Haruka thinks, because he probably wouldn't be able to control himself for much longer. Being with Shintaro tests his patience, destroys any sembalance he's ever had of self-control and rips it up and leaves him desperate and hungry, really. It's almost frustrating the effect that Shintaro has on him, driving him crazy with his small, hesitant smiles and how he never, never pushes him away or says no.

He pulls away to give Shintaro a comforting smile, reaching up and stroking his cheek soothingly. "I'll kiss you now, okay? Is that fine with you?" he says, and he waits for Shintaro to nod shakily in agreement before taking Shintaro's bottom lip into his mouth, dragging his teeth gently over the flesh and sucking.

Shintaro gasps in shock, and Haruka feels the tips of his eyelashes flutter against his skin. Cute, he thinks, grinning slightly, before taking the opportunity to slip his tongue into Shintaro's wet mouth, curling around Shintaro's own appendage and trying to coax it into play. He shudders, grip on Haruka's shoulders tightening as he lets out a sharp inhale of breath. He doesn't respond right away, too busy tensing up when Haruka's tongue brushes against his own, but after a couple of moments, he starts moving to reciprocate clumsily.

It's not all that great, because Shintaro really just wiggles his tongue around and all, but it's not like it's bad. It could be worse, honestly, so Haruka can't complain too much, throwing away those thoughts and focusing on exploring the inside of Shintaro's mouth with his tongue, running the muscle over Shintaro's teeth and slipping into every nook and cranny he can reach.

After a while, it doesn't take long for Shintaro to start clawing at his shoulders, trying to pull away, and Haruka has to let him do it, a bit reluctantly. Shintaro hasn't quite figured out how to breathe through his nose while kissing just yet, unfortunately, so Haruka has to let him pull away for air, unless he wants Shintaro to faint from lack of oxygen.

He gives Shintaro a few moments to catch his breath, humming to himself quietly, and when Shintaro's breath starts to even out, he reaches up and gently cups Shintaro's face with his hands. "Did you like that, Shintaro?" he asks, smiling. "Did it feel good? It felt good for me. What about you?"

Shintaro gives him a shaky nod, cheeks turning pink out of embarrassment. "Y-yes," he stutters, staring down at his feet and shuffling nervously. "It, it felt... nice. I, I like it when you do that with your tongue..."

"That's good," Haruka says, smiling more, and he presses a soft kiss to the top of Shintaro's head. "I'm glad that you like it too. I love you, Shintaro, and I want to make you feel good when I'm feeling good too, after all."

Shintaro looks back up at that, smiling shyly, and he squeezes Haruka's shoulders gently. "I, I love you too, Haruka. I love you a lot. I love you a whole bunch, more than I love soda and, and Kido's cooking!"

His smile is too bright, Haruka can't help but think, forcing himself to keep smiling back, and he jerkily nods. A piece of disgusting trash like him doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve anything from a nice person like Shintaro, but, he can't deny the fact that it makes his heart feel a little bit lighter, that something warm bubbles up in his chest. 

It doesn't last all that long though, because Shintaro ends up stepping in for a hug and he ends up accidentally brushing against Haruka's crotch, making him let out a small groan and buck his hips towards him because his dick is still stupidly hard, and Shintaro just blinks, titling his head to the side like a parrot.

"Is there something in your pocket?" he asks innocently, and Haruka can't help but let out a loud groan, letting go of Shintaro to flop onto his bed, pressing his face against the mattress and hoping that he ends up suffocating so he can avoid this topic. 

It doesn't work, unfortunately, because Shintaro just walks over to him and sits down next to him. "It's not your phone, since it's on the table...! What was it, Haruka? What's in your pocket?" he asks, burning with curiousity. Haruka doesn't have the heart to answer him though, and instead just lets out another groan, muffled by his mattress.


End file.
